“That’s eerie.”
I seemed up from my rapt hug. Nell gave my face a final lick and
turned to observe Sara. “Eerie?”
Sara, to my eyes, seemed a bit of surprised, a bit of bemused. She
nodded her head emphatically. “Eerie.”
Nell determined that Sara wasn’t of curiosity so she swiped me with a paw
in her ‘take note of me gesture’. With out serious about it I
murmured ‘in a minute’ and stroked her head. I heard a disgruntled
sigh earlier than she settled to observe us.
I settled extra comfortably and ran my hand alongside Nell’s facet whereas
watching Sara. “So, what’s eerie about our getting acquainted?
You’ve been happy up to now.”
She leaned again on the bench. “Oh, I *am* happy. I wasn’t
speaking about Nell’s reactions. I used to be speaking about *yours*.”
She glanced at her watch. “Within the final 2 hours or so Nell has
indicated sexual curiosity 15 instances. Every of these instances you responded
in numerous methods, with none hesitation that I may see.” She held
up a hand to cease a remark I wasn’t going to make. “I’ve supervised
a lot of the ‘getting acquainted’ periods for people and bots of
numerous sorts. What I seldom see is the human, regardless of how a lot
they desired the bot to be as ‘pure’ as potential, reacting to the
bot with the naturalness they do to actual people or canines.
She shook her head barely, then confronted me. “To see *that*
unhesitating naturalness between a human and… (she hesitated for
some cause) a bitchbot… That’s *eerie*.”
To provide myself time to assume I requested her a query. “You hesitated
earlier than you referred to as Nell a bitchbot. Why?”
“I wished to emphasise that it’s not Nell but additionally not considered one of our
common dogbots. You’ve been reacting as if it had been the unique, flesh
and blood bitch we primarily based it on.”
I winced on the coldness of her phrases even whereas I admitted their
fact. This ‘Nell’ wasn’t the unique.
However…
I bent over and hugged ‘Nell’. “I beloved her. Once I realized that
your organization would possibly be capable of deliver her again for me, I vowed that I
wouldn’t deal with this Nell in a different way simply because she is a bot. The
unique Nell would by no means forgive me if I made that mistake. ‘The
bundle doesn’t matter’. It doesn’t matter that this Nell has been
programmed to seem to like me.”
I sighed and seemed up. Sara had her head tilted barely, as if she
had been understanding a puzzle. I questioned if she realized that head tilt
was one thing I’d seen many instances, when Nell was puzzled about
one thing.
I sighed and met Sara’s eyes. “I by no means answered ‘why do you wish to
recreate your bitch?’, with the actual a part of the reality. Oh, you bought
a few of it.
“However, you by no means acquired a very powerful a part of it: The unique Nell,
and the love we shared, was the one cause I by no means suicided. With out
her, I battle every day simply to remain alive. Dying is such a straightforward
resolution. It calls to me. It seduces me with it’s simplicity.
“I want a cause to dwell. I’d fairly dwell, I feel. So long as Nell
is right here, I do know I’d fairly dwell. I *want* Nell.”
Sara requested the apparent query: “Remedy?”
I snorted bitterly. I felt Nell nudge me along with her head in a bid to
draw me out of my despondency. “Yeah. If I may afford a bot, I can
actually afford remedy. It solely confirmed what I already knew. I’m
a basic zoophile however solely extra so. People do nothing for me
sexually or emotionally. Solely animals. Solely canines. Solely a bitch.
Fairly restricted selections accessible. Nell *labored*. If there was some
option to duplicate her as a substitute of relying on the very small likelihood
that I’d discover one other actual bitch who match me in addition to she did…”
I bent my head and kissed this Nell. My Nell. My cause for dwelling,
Nell. “Homebots was the one likelihood I had of dwelling. I needed to strive.”
I lifted my head once more. “I knew as quickly as Nell greeted me that I’d
received my gamble. I’ll by no means be *alone* once more.”